How much can I get for this?

Ancient artifacts, relics of the colonial history of this great land of ours, you can easily see them in our museum and various houses of culture in Belize. Some of them are a few hundred years old, some are thousands. Some were left behind by the English and Spanish who made their presence in Belize, others by the ancient Maya. “But I have one of those” you might say.

 

We have heard it before. Your grandmother had old bottles; while you were digging for your farm you came across a stone tool or ceramic pot. Some red flags may go up, fear creeps in, that the Institute of Archaeology is coming, along with the police, to arrest you for having a bottle and take away your land because you found a pot.

 

Then again you may have different ideas. How much can I get for it? The ‘how much’ idea is quite common in our jewel. The historic value fades away as the dream of big money comes to light. The evils of greed take over and pieces of Belizean history are gone forever. Every time a single piece gets sold and is taken from Belize, we lose a part of what makes up the story of this nation, which did not begin with the coming of the Spanish or British, it begins a lot further back.

 

“But these things mean nothing to me.” We have heard that one too. People offer to sell things to us, and we refuse to buy, as it is quite illegal to buy or sell antiquities. But there is another reason we refuse to buy. History is not for sale, and we believe it is up to every citizen of this nation to safeguard our cultural identity. It benefits us all, by telling us where we came from. It also benefits us as it can mean a lucrative future in cultural tourism, which means money in the bank for Belize.  

So, what should you do if you have these things at home? What should you do if you find a pot or a stone tool on your property? You can donate it to us, or apply for a license to have a private collection. Yes, you can legally hold artifacts and display them by

having a license, and the license is free, all you have to do is apply. All of you can help to be custodians of our heritage, as every bottle, every piece of jade, every beautifully painted vase belongs to no one. They belong to the whole nation of Belize. We can make sure that the glory of our ancestry is not lost. We can make sure the stories never fade away.  

Things for December

So I am supposed to write about feet, thanks Joey.

For those of you who don't know, Joey is our intern here, a Jewish girl from New York, vegetarian, and someone who gets mad because I won't allow her to celebrate Christmas...damnit that is OUR holiday. She is cool though, just turned 20 (ha ha no longer a teen) and keep me laughing all day. She wanted to know if I had a blog, because let's face it, I am pretty funny when I rant about stupid shit, like dumb people on the phone or on the emails, or creepy people on Facebook, no names called. But I cannot rant or talk about feet at length, so gotta find something else.

Gangnam Style anyone? Yes even Madonna did it, and I cringed....I was NOT fond of that. What is it with these fads that catch on so easily? And so many people latching on to it, trying to make themselves cool? Or thinking you are awesome if you blare it loudly on bad speakers on the back of a bus all the way from the Mexican border to Belize City? Yeesh! This song needs to disappear and take One Direction and Carly Rae Jepsen with it....KPOP will always be annoying, I never loved it in Taiwan, I will not like it now, and I will not dance to it, no matter how much I drink or how much cocaine I snort.

No Joey, more women should NOT be working at Subway, they take long enough to serve people at times, all we need are gossipy people with bad weaves taking too many bathroom breaks and catching pms once a week, to slow things down even further.

I am running out of ideas? Guess being in love makes you not notice all the crap in the world as much as you use to. Gotta thank my lil elf for that....so until next time, well...

Bad music and other business

I don’t know what to bitch about today. It’s been a while. There is a lot that ticks me off, from the constant crime, to revolving door prisons, cost of living increasing, bonehead celebs, and just plain dumb people that irritate the hell out of me. And if that was not bad enough, has some creepy person calling again and again, having no idea who it was. “Why don’t you track the country code,” thank you Sylvia, lol….and yeah, Singapore…must be the mafia or some poor lonely fool who think stalking is the way to win my heart.

 

Ahh well. So let’s get into the September spirit and be a patriot and feel glad and proud to live in Belize, our wonderful little jewel, undiscovered and unspoiled, pristine, glorious, land of the free, a melting pot, and just really nice and friendly. Listen to the wonderful carnival songs about how we all come together as a wonderful people and nation, it’s time to celebrate our independence and jump and be free.

 

 

 

 

Of course those of you who know me have figured out the previous paragraph was dripping with disdain and sarcasm, I think I threw up a little.

 

Ok, so now on to music. Let’s start local before I tackle the evils of world music. On the news last night, some girl from Corozal was showing her music video, about September, about Belize. It was original, I swear. Belize flag waving, wonderful Caribbean or soca beat and rhythm, lyrics about her wonderful country, people coming together, I almost cried…..oh wait……wonder where I heard that before? How about every damn September? I swear, if it is not about how much we love this land, it’s about “di youth dem” and TBH, as people write these days, it gets tiresome. How about something new and refreshing that is NOT about swaying coconut trees, or how much you love the ‘mami’ (backed up by very generic reggaeton beats) or about the poverty and the youths on drugs?

 

And no, do not tell me “Can you do better?” I don’t sing, never said I could. But if you gonna make music and the videos that go along with them, how about something that sounds new with a video that does not include the quintessential dancing girls on a dock, or some reggaeton copy with bad autotune only dancing by waving his hands back and forth with some girl in the background pretending the water or the beach is really that interesting?

 

 

 

I dunno. I think I did enough for today. Gonna leave bashing Be the Next Superstar for another rant.

No tyrants here linger, despots must flee

Prison must be good. Meals provided, skills learned, bonds for life made. People think prison is scary. I am sure it is. But walking home at 7pm and watching the shadows and looking over your shoulder is scary. Walking to the bus terminal after work and thinking the next person you see is gonna rob you, that is scary. Worrying that every sound you hear at night, that every time the dog barks it is signalling an impending home invasion, causing you to lose sleep and look haggard the following day, now that is scary.

Step right up folks, get your front row seats for the scariest thing on TV these days, the evening news in a small country called Belize, a country desperately trying to hold on to the boast of being a peaceful jewel. Our economy is going downhill, poverty and unemployment up at alarming rates, and it seems that each crime is not trying to outdo the previous ones in terms of how much ratings they can get on TV.

Should we boost tourism by opening the country as a hunting ground for humans? Or perhaps sell packages for random gun violence? I am sure many gun toting loons would love that, to be allowed free range to come and shoot as they please, and the cannibals could then finally enjoy the hunt and eat their kill. Gruesome huh? If that makes you uncomfortable, you have not seen the news. Keep watching. Eventually you become so desensitized, that the news is truly shocking only when something good happens, and these days that is as rare as getting white sugar without all the fibres in it….

So here is an idea. Perhaps they should build a secure prison and have all the law-abiding citizens move in. Let the criminals have the country. If we are in prison we know we shall be safe in there knowing the criminals are outside that big wall with razor wire. I mean living outside those walls do not give much comfort anyway, we live in a prison of fear and mistrust anyway. We fear the criminals. We fear Guatemala taking us over. We fear the government will continue to mess the country up. We fear the police and BDF because it seems they are in on it. So, at the end of the day, who do we turn to? Are things so bad now that we shall soon have to pray to god for a flood to wipe us all away again? Excuse me while I draft some blueprints for an ark now….it is coming….

Thanks for the prayers, but no thanks

Many people could not sleep last night. For some it was the heat. It was so damn hot and not everyone can afford to have an air conditioning unit in their homes. Some people rely on fans alone. My fan is like  a jet engine, loud and blows so powerfully I have to tuck the sheets in to make sure they do not blow away.

Still, some people, myself included, could not sleep for another more sinister reason.

Yesterday, our nation was shocked, yet again, at the brutal murder of an innocent child. When the news hit, people cried, people got angry. People wanted to pray. Best use those goddamn hands to make justice work instead of being on your knees praying. Prayers did not help the child go home, or help the police find her in time. Prayers will not help find her killer. Investigation will. Prayers will not rehabilitate the killer. A noose around his neck will. So, stop praying for the children being killed in our country. Does not seem to do jack shit. Want results? Do something.

Tell those pompous idiots from Belize Action to take all the money they are getting to fight gay people into possible investing in better crime investigation for our very under prepared police. Instead of people worrying who I am sleeping with, is it not better to band together to make sure we have a country worth living in?

Now before any of you sanctimonious pious people tell me I have gone too far in my words, maybe I have not gone far enough. Maybe it is time to stop being nice about all this and pretending like praying is gonna save us. We pray to feel good that we sit back and do nothing, thinking that if we pray, then at least we tried. Tell that to the families of those victims. Tell that to the victims themselves, how sorry you are that your prayers were not heard in time.

Want results? Do something. Better police training, better investigation, better use of resources, that is what we need. Do we want to feel trapped in our own country? Should we always feel fear that our children will not come home? What happens if we all leave to find a more peaceful place to live? Then this Belize you are all praying for, will cease to exist. Don’t bother praying for me either, tried and failed method. I will continue to say what I damn well please.

September Celebrations, Belize - What's the fuss?

So September approaches. Soon it will be time for the same songs we hear every year, that as a kid use to instil me with pride and excitement. Soon there would be parades and fireworks and floats and festivals. September is the month we celebrate the anniversary of our independence from Britain, and the anniversary of the Battle of St. George’s Caye, a fight where the British settlers and slaves banded together to tackle the incoming Spanish. All has a nice movie ring to it right? Every year, there is also a theme to go along with it, something proud and patriotic. Every year the theme gets worse and more comical, but not for the reason you think. The words are ok, the idea is good, it’s just not real.

They usually sound something like this:

"Our Heritage, Our Cultures -- Living and Celebrating in Unity and Peace"

"Building on Heritage, Renewing our Identity -- Living Anew... Celebrating with Pride!"

Oh but those are so nice and make you feel proud to be Belizean. Truth is, they do not really reflect the country as it is. Nobody wants to be the Debbie Downer, and in Belize there is a disease the people have, where they think so many true things, but are scared to speak it because it might be controversial or unpopular. Well, thank god you have me right?

My ideas for themes this year include:

“Belize at 31 and on life support.”

“Belize at 31 – Busy praying the gay away to combat violence.”

“Our heritage and cultures – Trying in vain to polish that faded jewel.”

So go ahead all of you living in delusion and still wanna march and wave your little flags, go ahead and call me unpatriotic. You know damn well I am right. Belize is going to hell in a hand basket. Makes you wonder if we should hand ourselves over to Guatemala or give ourselves back to England. Obviously we are doing a piss poor job of showing how proud we are as a nation, simply be refusing to love each other, be proud of each other, stop killing each other, and something as simple as not throwing fucking trash everywhere.

Go ahead, let the hate mail come.

Sometimes one does get writer's block. There are many things happening that one can write about, but the inspiration is not there. People just don't read or don't care, and the world keeps on spinning anyway. When there is a lot buggin you, what do you write about? About how tactless a Belize media house can be to have a sponsor mention after a murder report? About someone who does his more than fair share of ass kissing and his very presence and voice irritates you? How stupid people like Pastor Stirm and Louis Wade still wanna butt their nose into something that is none of their goddamn business? Or just how stupid humanity can be in general at times? See, so many topics, no inspiration to write on any of them...it's no wonder my poetry book has been empty these days...sometimes...I just get tired of caring and trying...

But as soon as you wanna throw in the towel, you realize, people do look up to you, and if you quit, what example are you setting? And if you do complain about how ignorant people are, is it not your calling, then, to help wake them up? I believe so...