Sometimes one does get writer's block. There are many things happening that one can write about, but the inspiration is not there. People just don't read or don't care, and the world keeps on spinning anyway. When there is a lot buggin you, what do you write about? About how tactless a Belize media house can be to have a sponsor mention after a murder report? About someone who does his more than fair share of ass kissing and his very presence and voice irritates you? How stupid people like Pastor Stirm and Louis Wade still wanna butt their nose into something that is none of their goddamn business? Or just how stupid humanity can be in general at times? See, so many topics, no inspiration to write on any of them...it's no wonder my poetry book has been empty these days...sometimes...I just get tired of caring and trying...

But as soon as you wanna throw in the towel, you realize, people do look up to you, and if you quit, what example are you setting? And if you do complain about how ignorant people are, is it not your calling, then, to help wake them up? I believe so...

My confession

It's been a long time coming. I think this confession is even more momentous that the "I'm gay" speech I never gave, and a lot more horrendous to some people. But, after examining my beliefs, looking at evidences, and listening to various points of view, I have come to a very distinct conclusion that has not made my mother happy, and has some people trying harder for my conversion, praying for me, and even wishing to burn me at the stake. No, it's not witchcraft even though that is reason enough to link me to Satan. It's not another religion either. I am.....an atheist.


Of course to those of you who know me well this is hardly a shock. It's an affirmation of beliefs you have known me to share for a while. My mother still insists deep down I believe. Maybe that is because of the programming I received from my grandparents, my highschool and even junior college. But it is also these elements that have helped me come to this conclusion. But don't blame them alone, they had help from the world around me, in helping me realize, the very idea of some all knowing, all powerful, all loving god, is just....well.....a fairytale.

And being gay has nothing to do with it, because there are plenty of gay Christians still suffering for their beliefs. I am not a Satanist, for there is no god, there can be no anti-god. People will tell me yes there is a god, and their proof is a 2000 year old book, that itself is full of contradictions and immorality and should never be used to prove there is a loving god anywhere. "The evidence is all around you" is such an old line. I do see evidence. Famine, drought, violence, and millions of prayers unanswered in the very lame conclusion that god works in mysterious ways.

I gave religion a try, several actually, but the more I tried, the more I realize they are based on a book from which they pick and choose the laws to follow, and because of many religions we have as much violence and prejudice in the world today. People blame atheists for evil, because we believe in no god at all. Do we need to believe in god to be good? We have inherent morality, and that is good enough for us. But, I will humor you anyway if you come to talk about god and the bible....what can I say, it is as entertaining as Harry Potter, without the magic wands.