Yearning for the 'attainable'

I feel like running from my feelings. It’s something I do always. I avoid feeling, I run from emotions. It makes you weak. But I met someone I want to be weak for.  I would wait for him. I would wait, which is something I never do, but sometimes you meet someone that you know is the jackpot, the sure thing, everything in your blood and bones tells you so. Even in dreams that person can make you sigh and make your tremble. If you have never felt that, I can only pray that you will, it makes everything hard you have ever been through seem worth it, to have gotten you to this point, where life finally seems possible.

Does not seem like me does it? Normally I would rant on people being idiotic and idealistic, for falling into the traps of emotion and having no logic. I shunned such people and called them morons. Now I look at what I am doing through, and can see how strong emotions are and what they can do to you.

Normally the advice I give to my friends comes from experience, in being cold and practical. But now I would not even take my own advice, and live in regret. It will hurt when he leaves, something I have no choice in, but I would rather have those moments so at least I have the memory.