Monday, April 2, 2012

On crushes, love and other matters

Today dawned too early. I was not ready to get up. Having spent many hours playing Just Dance on Saturday nite into the wee hours of Sunday morning, my body aches. I am not one for dancing, never have been. But I wanted to loosen up, and make a certain someone very happy…and when you have a major crush on someone, you do what you do to impress them. I am not a dancer at all, and I was sure that was not gonna impress anyone, but just the attempt spoke volumes.

San Pedro is a cool place after all. I have some cool friends that live there, there are cool places to drink, and the wind seems to always blow. I did not go there to drink and enjoy the wind, of course. I went chasing a dream, one I hope shall still come true, even if it is wishful thinking.  Sometimes though, you gotta screw logic and have faith in fate, and just hope it turns out. At least you can always say ‘you tried’ which is better than doing nothing. If I could chase my musketeer around the world, I would.

Sometimes I detest the fact that humans were given free will, because we have to make tough choices and live with anxiety and consequences. We should have been like animals, and live by instinct only and just follow a simple chain of activities. But there are times, when I am glad I do have free will, for free will gives rise to the glory of emotions, and feelings, the best of them being love and desire for someone else, that though they consume your very thoughts and plague your mind every second awake, it’s a disease you readily welcome, for it’s a promise of perhaps a chance to be happy.

There are people out there that I have spoken to, who are scared to fall in love or even try, some who say they don’t believe in love and shall never fall in love. Heartbreak is too painful, people cheat, things happen. I have been through heartbreak. It truly does hurt. But there was a time when I felt nothing, for no one, including myself. And let me tell you, I would rather be wallowing in the pit of despair that comes from heartache, than be upon an island alone and feeling like a zombie. Feel love. Go for love. It can bring such joy. It can also bring pain. But the pain is worth it, when you feel that something in your stomach, your heart, your skin, that something that one person can bring to you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Did it work out with your musketeer? If it didn't... have you found someone to grace your amazing self with. I bet whoever has you, or will have you; will be one lucky person. And so will you, since I get the feeling you only go after amazing people.